I am a quarter of the way through the first round of edits on Fae Guardian. Last night I spent three hours combing through the manuscript fueled only by a cup of cinnamon hot chocolate and a scented candle so strong my hubby swore he could smell it downstairs. Black Pepper Bergamot from Bath & Body Works if you’re interested.

The last two days I hadn’t touched my manuscript because I was doing a paid editing job for another author. The editing pays more than the writing so far so it’s a gig I want to keep. It also helps that I am a massive fan of this author so it does not pain me at all to read her work. However I found that two days was enough to send my mind swirling into self-doubt about my manuscript.

Cue the song Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan which I am pretty sure was on The Matrix soundtrack. Am I moving forwards or backwards? Neo doesn’t know whether to face the truth or continue living in a made up dream world. Neither promise happiness. But one is real. Every minute I spend on my stories is one less minute I spend in the real world with real people.

I think there was one sentence which actually got me stuck for ten minutes last night. The solution to my problem is obvious. Give up or do it more. The more you write and edit the easier it becomes.

Giving up isn’t an option. The other thing that happens to me when I don’t write is I become a unsufferable crabapple. My six-year-old son said to me yesterday that even when things are tough he doesn’t give up. Even though I knew that wasn’t true in his case I praised him for the sentiment. The internal struggle is the hardest thing about this gig and in most other endeavors in life.

Happy Friday and Write On!